I finally felt the feeling of nervous. It came in spurts. The first sput was when we drove on the highway around the bend that would mark the beginning of the city the hospital was in. That lasted about 5 minutes. The second spurt was when we were within view of the hospital. That lasted for about 15 minutes, until I was admitted into the hospital.
Actually, we were meeting my husband, and I was talking on the phone with him. He asked if I was nervous yet. My response, "yes. Either that or I am really excited,". We laughed at that, but seeing my inside shakes like that made a big difference in our attitude. If you think about it, nervous and excited have the same symptoms. It is the thoughts attached to them that causes us to interpret how we feel as one or the other.
The next spurt of shaky inside was when I realized that time had flown, and my operation time was in only 20 minutes. That lasted only about three minutes. My last spurt was 5 minutes before operation time. That lasted only a minute, ending when we were told it would be another hour or so. It was 2 hours and 15 minutes later, but I decided being nervous was a waste of energy.
My family was invited into my private waiting room. I was in my hospital gown and laying in bed, waiting to be wheeled into the operating room. The nurse put a soft air pad with warm air flowing through it and a thin blanket that covered it on me. She started an IV into the backside of my left hand and started a fluid which prepared my kidney somehow. About an hour later she added a calming drug. I didn't notice any difference in how I felt, but it is true that I wasn't nervous when she wheeled me into the operating room.
I remember being wheeled up next to a table or bed. I remember two huge lights above, two people I could see, and one walking across the room. I remember asking if I would be climbing onto the table myself and if they would warn me before I was put out. Both answers were "yes". The next thing I remember is dreaming about cartoon bears in bubbles, then being woken up.
Apparently one of the drugs they gave me was an amnesia drug to keep my short term memory from becoming long term memory, which helps with a sense of peace. They later told me that I was fully awake for moving to the table and also when they told me they would be putting me out.
I slept in the recovery room for about a half hour after surgery before waking up. The male attending nurse woke me up by talking to me. I started asking a bunch of questions, but he didn't answer, and instead turned to make a report about me to another nurse. I was sad that apparently he thought I was just mumbling in my half asleep stage, which was confirmed when he told her I was still really groggy. I then heard him tell her one of my arteries was cut. At that time, all my previous questions, except my inquiries about my recipient, were gone, and I was content to believe I really was just mumbling nonsense. I was more curious about my report.
It turns out that this doesn't happen very often, but in my case an artery was nicked, and I lost about a cup of blood. That is not enough for a blood transfusion, but they wanted to check my hemoglobin and hematocrit levels every 4 hours. After faithfully testing about 5 times, my counts went up at the first test, and were found stabilized for the next several tests.
I have three 1-inch incisions (varying sizes) for their camera and tools, each cut side to side, all lined up (one above another) in the center of my abdomen under my ribs, stomach, and above my belly button. Then I have a six inch incision near the bikini fold, so it looks like a cesarean section scar, maybe a bit smaller, where the surgeon inserted his hand and guided the kidney out.
For the surgery I had a breathing tube, but was lucky enough to not have a sore throat from it. They did leave a clip on my nose to assist with oxygen. I had a catheter. I also had a button to push for dripping pain medication into my IV, no less than every half hour and no more than once every 5 minutes. It was a controlled narcotic.
I never felt loopy. I was as talkative as ever with all my silly ways of communicating. I was very clear, and very me, although quieter.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
The Last 24 Hours
Today is Monday, the day before the transplant. I had 6 vials of pre-op lab tests completed last week in the town I live in, and I needed another to be done today in the hospital the operation will take place. I was expecting one, or maybe three. I was surprised to find I had 12 vials taken today and a urine test! They were just checking for any last minute concerns. For instance, if they found that I had a urinary tract infection, they would need to be sure to give both of us antibiotics. They took a test to find out if I was pregnant. They will be taking another tomorrow when I check in.
This lab technician also did not want to use a butterfly. She was nice. She gave me the same reason for not using a butterfly as my lab technician did last week. The needle and tube that are part of the butterfly that the blood would transfer through are so tiny, it is basically coming one drop at a time, and there is a real danger that the blood could start clotting.
I'm glad that she was doing my last series of blood tests, because when she poked me IT HURT. She did a pretty good job changing the vials, but the whole time I could feel the needle down to my elbow. :(
I am still not nervous, that I am aware of ... at least not on a conscious level. I am waiting for it to hit. I was thinking about this while traveling home from the hospital, and I think part of the reason I am not nervous is that my husband, parents, children, friends, and more friends are supportive and helping a lot and have everything all lined up and taken care of. I am SO appreciative of all that they are doing. I know I originally wanted to try to get away with doing this secretly, but I had no idea what encouragement and relief and sense of peace would come from those who are helping me.
On top of that, there are lots of people praying for my friend and me. I feel so loved. She has friends and family that have never met me praying for me, and I have friends and family who have never met her praying for her. I haven't even asked. For instance, my aunt in another state called and asked when the operation is and what the name of my friend who would be receiving my kidney. She wrote her name down then told me, I will be praying for both of you, and so will my ladies' group at church. That is so SWEET!
There are still great friends of mine (and even family) that don't know about this. I struggle whether to tell them or not. I want them to know that I love them and care about them enough to let them know important things that happen in my life. On the other hand, if I don't tell them, it is likely they could continue in their life not knowing, but if they find out in the future through the grapevine, I don't want them to feel unimportant to me. I would not be telling them so that I can get praise or to ask them to do anything for me or even to get attention. I just want them to feel part of my life, if that is what makes them feel loved. Honestly, I wouldn't be offended if I found out something later, but I would have wanted to know while it was happening rather than after it was finished.
I am excited for my friend receiving my kidney. I hope she feels great and is able to take opportunities that she hasn't been able to up until now. I don't have any expectations for her, me, or us. I will be fascinated to know what happens in both of our lives after tomorrow. I think she is a marvelous woman, a powerful woman, and just all around wonderful. I am glad we are friends. I am also glad that we became friends months before I offered. This is so not about me, but I am honored to have my experience with her. This is about her, about our wonderful friends and family, and about God and his love for his children.
I check into the hospital at 9:30 a.m., and our surgery is scheduled for 11:00 a.m. Here we go! :D <3
This lab technician also did not want to use a butterfly. She was nice. She gave me the same reason for not using a butterfly as my lab technician did last week. The needle and tube that are part of the butterfly that the blood would transfer through are so tiny, it is basically coming one drop at a time, and there is a real danger that the blood could start clotting.
I'm glad that she was doing my last series of blood tests, because when she poked me IT HURT. She did a pretty good job changing the vials, but the whole time I could feel the needle down to my elbow. :(
I am still not nervous, that I am aware of ... at least not on a conscious level. I am waiting for it to hit. I was thinking about this while traveling home from the hospital, and I think part of the reason I am not nervous is that my husband, parents, children, friends, and more friends are supportive and helping a lot and have everything all lined up and taken care of. I am SO appreciative of all that they are doing. I know I originally wanted to try to get away with doing this secretly, but I had no idea what encouragement and relief and sense of peace would come from those who are helping me.
On top of that, there are lots of people praying for my friend and me. I feel so loved. She has friends and family that have never met me praying for me, and I have friends and family who have never met her praying for her. I haven't even asked. For instance, my aunt in another state called and asked when the operation is and what the name of my friend who would be receiving my kidney. She wrote her name down then told me, I will be praying for both of you, and so will my ladies' group at church. That is so SWEET!
There are still great friends of mine (and even family) that don't know about this. I struggle whether to tell them or not. I want them to know that I love them and care about them enough to let them know important things that happen in my life. On the other hand, if I don't tell them, it is likely they could continue in their life not knowing, but if they find out in the future through the grapevine, I don't want them to feel unimportant to me. I would not be telling them so that I can get praise or to ask them to do anything for me or even to get attention. I just want them to feel part of my life, if that is what makes them feel loved. Honestly, I wouldn't be offended if I found out something later, but I would have wanted to know while it was happening rather than after it was finished.
I am excited for my friend receiving my kidney. I hope she feels great and is able to take opportunities that she hasn't been able to up until now. I don't have any expectations for her, me, or us. I will be fascinated to know what happens in both of our lives after tomorrow. I think she is a marvelous woman, a powerful woman, and just all around wonderful. I am glad we are friends. I am also glad that we became friends months before I offered. This is so not about me, but I am honored to have my experience with her. This is about her, about our wonderful friends and family, and about God and his love for his children.
I check into the hospital at 9:30 a.m., and our surgery is scheduled for 11:00 a.m. Here we go! :D <3
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
The Week Before Surgery
People always want to know how I'm doing. Am I still excited? Or am I nervous? My friend (and angel) asked my daughter this about me, and my daughter replied with, "She seems to be still excited." My angel friend said, "Yah. She's nervous."
Really, when I am awake I feel zero fear about the surgery. Once in a while I feel something deep inside me that I recognize as probably fear, but I remember my faith and reasoning, and I don't feel it at all anymore. However, I am aware that stress can show up in the body, so I have been watching.
I can sleep like a baby on concrete, although I prefer a softer surface. I have never had problems with sleep comfort until about 10 days before this surgery, when for 2 days I woke up with my back muscles hurting like crazy in the morning and all that day! It has been a couple of days since, and although I don't wake up hurting like that, even in my sleep I can feel myself toss and turn as though I am deeply disturbed about something. Then, this morning I noticed that I have a yeast infection deep in my belly button! It doesn't itch. I just laughed! I love my body and how it communicates with me! It is doing a great job! I suppose the "myriad of changing emotions" I was told I would likely go through is taking form on the inside more than the outside.
Today is Wednesday, and the surgery is next Tuesday. I had some pre-op labs done today, and I get to do one more set next Monday. They would have completed all of them today, had I been able to get to the lab in the hospital I will be having the surgery at, but I couldn't, so I did as much as I could at a lab in a hospital in my own town. Only the sample or test next Monday (one day before surgery) does the hospital doing the surgery have to complete themselves.
I found out that today my recipient friend also had pre-op labs. We are retaking tests we have already passed, just in case anything has changed since our last test and we have recently been unknowingly exposed to anything that could cause this transplant to fail or transfer a disease. With the tests I took today, they are tissue typing again and testing for certain transmittal diseases. 6 vials this time. This lab technician chose not to use a butterfly. I was nervous about the changing of vials, but she promised this was her specialty. Turns out, she was really very good!
Something I was not expecting at all is how people are offering to support me. I still haven't told anybody, unless there is either a need or they ask me. Those who know, though, are excited and praying for us (my recipient friend and I). My recipient friend and my angel friend have a list of people who want to bring meals to my family when it is needed, whether it be when we return home from the hospital or after my parents return to their home and I'm left alone with my children. (My husband works in another town during the week and comes home to be with us on the weekends. He is very helpful, but not as much when he is away at work.)
These offers make me feel loved and cared for, and I will take them up on their offers if there is a need, because I believe in taking care of myself and healing right the first time, without taking any risk of hurting myself by trying to prove how together I am. I won't take advantage. If I do that, then when there is a real need, help may not be as accessible when I need. I am truly grateful for their offers and to know that help is only a phone call away!
Really, when I am awake I feel zero fear about the surgery. Once in a while I feel something deep inside me that I recognize as probably fear, but I remember my faith and reasoning, and I don't feel it at all anymore. However, I am aware that stress can show up in the body, so I have been watching.
I can sleep like a baby on concrete, although I prefer a softer surface. I have never had problems with sleep comfort until about 10 days before this surgery, when for 2 days I woke up with my back muscles hurting like crazy in the morning and all that day! It has been a couple of days since, and although I don't wake up hurting like that, even in my sleep I can feel myself toss and turn as though I am deeply disturbed about something. Then, this morning I noticed that I have a yeast infection deep in my belly button! It doesn't itch. I just laughed! I love my body and how it communicates with me! It is doing a great job! I suppose the "myriad of changing emotions" I was told I would likely go through is taking form on the inside more than the outside.
Today is Wednesday, and the surgery is next Tuesday. I had some pre-op labs done today, and I get to do one more set next Monday. They would have completed all of them today, had I been able to get to the lab in the hospital I will be having the surgery at, but I couldn't, so I did as much as I could at a lab in a hospital in my own town. Only the sample or test next Monday (one day before surgery) does the hospital doing the surgery have to complete themselves.
I found out that today my recipient friend also had pre-op labs. We are retaking tests we have already passed, just in case anything has changed since our last test and we have recently been unknowingly exposed to anything that could cause this transplant to fail or transfer a disease. With the tests I took today, they are tissue typing again and testing for certain transmittal diseases. 6 vials this time. This lab technician chose not to use a butterfly. I was nervous about the changing of vials, but she promised this was her specialty. Turns out, she was really very good!
Something I was not expecting at all is how people are offering to support me. I still haven't told anybody, unless there is either a need or they ask me. Those who know, though, are excited and praying for us (my recipient friend and I). My recipient friend and my angel friend have a list of people who want to bring meals to my family when it is needed, whether it be when we return home from the hospital or after my parents return to their home and I'm left alone with my children. (My husband works in another town during the week and comes home to be with us on the weekends. He is very helpful, but not as much when he is away at work.)
These offers make me feel loved and cared for, and I will take them up on their offers if there is a need, because I believe in taking care of myself and healing right the first time, without taking any risk of hurting myself by trying to prove how together I am. I won't take advantage. If I do that, then when there is a real need, help may not be as accessible when I need. I am truly grateful for their offers and to know that help is only a phone call away!
Thursday, January 8, 2015
FAQ and Not So FAQ
Q: Did you know that it hurts the donor much more than the recipient, because everything gets bruised in the donor, something is removed, and they go from feeling healthy their whole life to not functioning optimally, which they aren't used to, while the recipient feels healthy and energy almost immediately after a life of weakness?
A: Yes. I first heard it from speaker John Bytheway on his tape 16 years ago. I appreciate his humor, but I hope to have a more peaceful recovery with very little laughing.
Q: Did she try her family members first?
A: Yes, but her sister wasn't compatible.
Q: With all that you know about health, why not try something less extreme than surgery and teach her how to gain health through herbs and diet?
A: While what mainstream calls "alternative" health, I call conservative and God's first choice, I also believe that the medical field is full of miracles and inspiration from God. God was very specific in his instruction to me. "Donate to her," and I do not believe it is my place to change his instruction to teaching anybody He did not instruct me to.
Q: Are you confident she will respect your kidney?
A: Firstly, once I give it to her, it is not my kidney, but hers. A true gift should not have strings attached.
Secondly, God instructed me to give this to her. I trust Him, I don't question Him or put my own limits on.
Thirdly, if it truly makes you feel better, I have every confidence in her respecting her new kidney in an effort to get as much milage as possible from it. My tiny friend doesn't put harmful substances into her body, she tends toward more natural and healthy foods and cleaners. I have full faith in her.
Q: What if one of your children or husband needs kidney in the future?
A: The likelihood of that happening is slim to none. There is no known history in my family nor my husband's family of even passing a kidney stone.
The most violent activity our family has participted in thus far is Ballroom dance, closely followed by marching band. The only possibility is a high adventure boy scout activity, which so far has consisted of canoeing, or downhill skiing, which each person has had no more than 2 opportunities so far.
However, should a need arise, I think I will have set a good example for my children and family members to follow, providing this does continue to be a positive experience. There are 7 children of mine, 6 blood aunts and uncles of theirs, and 17 cousins. If none of them desire to donate, my child will go on the waiting list just like everyone else does.
Q: What keeps you excited about this?
A: Anticipating seeing color in her face, giving her a chance to dance again, and the possibility that my tiny friend will have time to have children to be a great mom to.
Q: What if her body never accepts your kidney or she dies during surgery?
A: I will feel sad for her, but feel good knowing that I did what I could to help. In death, I will mourn the loss of my friend, but it wouldn't be my fault, nor my gift that caused it. I am confident she won't die, but no matter what happens I will feel comfort in knowing God has a plan and he trusted me to be part of it, so whatever happens has reason maybe only God will understand.
Q: What did you find out about your own health through all of these tests?
A: While I was doing the tests, I worried a bit about what if we found something that would keep me from getting insurance, while at the same time knowing that if something is found that it would be a blessing to find out in its earliest stages. Now I know for sure that I don't have diabetes, heart problems (both run in my family), cancers or venereal diseases (both of which would have caused me to fall off my seat with surprise), and I don't have a horseshoe shaped kidney like my mom does. There is a lot of comfort knowing for sure that I have been proven healthy. I did laugh out loud when I found out that I have borderline high cholesterol. All that means is I now have a doctor's recommendation, a good excuse, and a higher resolve to eat the way I have wanted to for years, but now I will be considered wise rather than borderline extreme.
Q: Aren't you scared of all that pain and elective major surgery?
A: Not really. Don't get me wrong, I am a baby when it comes to pain. However, I have kind of a masochistic anticipation for this. I have never had surgery, other than removal of my wisdom teeth. I will have scars with a great story, except that the clothes I wear will always cover them, even my bathing suit. My sisters warned me from experience that scars on the trunk don't ever completely feel normal, but always are a bit uncomfortable. Well, I have been warned, and I know God has chosen this path for me, and I hope I can always be grateful to him for this honor.
A: Yes. I first heard it from speaker John Bytheway on his tape 16 years ago. I appreciate his humor, but I hope to have a more peaceful recovery with very little laughing.
Q: Did she try her family members first?
A: Yes, but her sister wasn't compatible.
Q: With all that you know about health, why not try something less extreme than surgery and teach her how to gain health through herbs and diet?
A: While what mainstream calls "alternative" health, I call conservative and God's first choice, I also believe that the medical field is full of miracles and inspiration from God. God was very specific in his instruction to me. "Donate to her," and I do not believe it is my place to change his instruction to teaching anybody He did not instruct me to.
Q: Are you confident she will respect your kidney?
A: Firstly, once I give it to her, it is not my kidney, but hers. A true gift should not have strings attached.
Secondly, God instructed me to give this to her. I trust Him, I don't question Him or put my own limits on.
Thirdly, if it truly makes you feel better, I have every confidence in her respecting her new kidney in an effort to get as much milage as possible from it. My tiny friend doesn't put harmful substances into her body, she tends toward more natural and healthy foods and cleaners. I have full faith in her.
Q: What if one of your children or husband needs kidney in the future?
A: The likelihood of that happening is slim to none. There is no known history in my family nor my husband's family of even passing a kidney stone.
The most violent activity our family has participted in thus far is Ballroom dance, closely followed by marching band. The only possibility is a high adventure boy scout activity, which so far has consisted of canoeing, or downhill skiing, which each person has had no more than 2 opportunities so far.
However, should a need arise, I think I will have set a good example for my children and family members to follow, providing this does continue to be a positive experience. There are 7 children of mine, 6 blood aunts and uncles of theirs, and 17 cousins. If none of them desire to donate, my child will go on the waiting list just like everyone else does.
Q: What keeps you excited about this?
A: Anticipating seeing color in her face, giving her a chance to dance again, and the possibility that my tiny friend will have time to have children to be a great mom to.
Q: What if her body never accepts your kidney or she dies during surgery?
A: I will feel sad for her, but feel good knowing that I did what I could to help. In death, I will mourn the loss of my friend, but it wouldn't be my fault, nor my gift that caused it. I am confident she won't die, but no matter what happens I will feel comfort in knowing God has a plan and he trusted me to be part of it, so whatever happens has reason maybe only God will understand.
Q: What did you find out about your own health through all of these tests?
A: While I was doing the tests, I worried a bit about what if we found something that would keep me from getting insurance, while at the same time knowing that if something is found that it would be a blessing to find out in its earliest stages. Now I know for sure that I don't have diabetes, heart problems (both run in my family), cancers or venereal diseases (both of which would have caused me to fall off my seat with surprise), and I don't have a horseshoe shaped kidney like my mom does. There is a lot of comfort knowing for sure that I have been proven healthy. I did laugh out loud when I found out that I have borderline high cholesterol. All that means is I now have a doctor's recommendation, a good excuse, and a higher resolve to eat the way I have wanted to for years, but now I will be considered wise rather than borderline extreme.
Q: Aren't you scared of all that pain and elective major surgery?
A: Not really. Don't get me wrong, I am a baby when it comes to pain. However, I have kind of a masochistic anticipation for this. I have never had surgery, other than removal of my wisdom teeth. I will have scars with a great story, except that the clothes I wear will always cover them, even my bathing suit. My sisters warned me from experience that scars on the trunk don't ever completely feel normal, but always are a bit uncomfortable. Well, I have been warned, and I know God has chosen this path for me, and I hope I can always be grateful to him for this honor.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
What Those With Experiece Say
I have yet to talk to either a donor or receiver personally. (Correction: about a week before my surgery, a restaurant manager talked to us about her experience as a kidney receiver. More at the bottom of this page.) I have talked with members from three different families who watched the results.
The first is a friend in my church congregation in another city whose 20 year old son woke up one day and decided to donate his kidney to a stranger he had never met before who was on the top of the transplant waiting list. She said he was in a lot of incredible pain, and it was hard for a mother to watch and not be able to take that pain and nausea away. She said 24/7 care is needed for at least 2 weeks, and don't plan on going back to work or normal activities for at least a month. She said that they kept asking if it was still worth it to him, and his answer was always the same, "absolutely", and he would do it all over again!
The second is a friend in my current church congregation. Several of her family members have given or received kidneys through transplant, so she is appreciative of transplantation. Her grandmother received a kidney in her early sixties and lived on that same kidney for 20 years, passing away in her eighties from other causes, with the same kidney still functioning.
The third is my best friend of 12 years, whom I hadn't told about my plans for kidney donation until two nights ago (2 weeks before surgery) in an effort to find a place near the hospital for my parents to stay. Her brother donated a kidney to her sister back in June. It took many more months than he had expected for the pain to go away to the point where he felt somewhat normal. Christmas, 6 months later, was the first time he mentioned finally feeling okay. He also mentioned that he felt better than he has ever felt.
About a week before the transplant my husband and I were at a restaurant, and the store manager came over to say hi. She told us that a year ago her brother gave her his kidney. She said that, while you usually hear that the donor has a harder recovery than the receiver, in their case it was the opposite. She said that she was so deplete of energy, that after transplant she had almost nothing to draw from to help her recover. She returned to work just short of 2 months later. Her brother, however, felt great. He was up and out of the hospital in 2 days, and in about 2 weeks he went back to work at a computer in an office. He hadn't been an exerciser before surgery, but after surgery he started exercising, and in just a few months he ran his first marathon. She also mentioned that before the surgery she was always on the cold side and he was always just a little too warm. After the surgery they seemed to have switched core temperature comfort levels.
All the medical sites mention that almost always the donors said it was worth it and they would do it all over again. I just found this link today online with testimonials from donors, and it makes me happy, called Rocking 1 Kidney. http://www.rock1kidney.org/donor-stories-2/
The first is a friend in my church congregation in another city whose 20 year old son woke up one day and decided to donate his kidney to a stranger he had never met before who was on the top of the transplant waiting list. She said he was in a lot of incredible pain, and it was hard for a mother to watch and not be able to take that pain and nausea away. She said 24/7 care is needed for at least 2 weeks, and don't plan on going back to work or normal activities for at least a month. She said that they kept asking if it was still worth it to him, and his answer was always the same, "absolutely", and he would do it all over again!
The second is a friend in my current church congregation. Several of her family members have given or received kidneys through transplant, so she is appreciative of transplantation. Her grandmother received a kidney in her early sixties and lived on that same kidney for 20 years, passing away in her eighties from other causes, with the same kidney still functioning.
The third is my best friend of 12 years, whom I hadn't told about my plans for kidney donation until two nights ago (2 weeks before surgery) in an effort to find a place near the hospital for my parents to stay. Her brother donated a kidney to her sister back in June. It took many more months than he had expected for the pain to go away to the point where he felt somewhat normal. Christmas, 6 months later, was the first time he mentioned finally feeling okay. He also mentioned that he felt better than he has ever felt.
About a week before the transplant my husband and I were at a restaurant, and the store manager came over to say hi. She told us that a year ago her brother gave her his kidney. She said that, while you usually hear that the donor has a harder recovery than the receiver, in their case it was the opposite. She said that she was so deplete of energy, that after transplant she had almost nothing to draw from to help her recover. She returned to work just short of 2 months later. Her brother, however, felt great. He was up and out of the hospital in 2 days, and in about 2 weeks he went back to work at a computer in an office. He hadn't been an exerciser before surgery, but after surgery he started exercising, and in just a few months he ran his first marathon. She also mentioned that before the surgery she was always on the cold side and he was always just a little too warm. After the surgery they seemed to have switched core temperature comfort levels.
All the medical sites mention that almost always the donors said it was worth it and they would do it all over again. I just found this link today online with testimonials from donors, and it makes me happy, called Rocking 1 Kidney. http://www.rock1kidney.org/donor-stories-2/
Friday, December 12, 2014
Emotionally
My husband is skeptical of this surgery, but he is supportive. He is worried about how it will affect us. To him, there is always a catch, and no one ever tells you the complete truth, so he is suspicious. However, he is supportive of my electing this surgery, but with his eyes wide open.
I knew I would need help for the first two weeks of recovery. I called my mom and dad, who live in another state, and told them I was calling to see if they would be able to help me, as I am choosing to have surgery to donate a kidney to my friend and need someone to take care of me from the time I am released from the hospital until my 2 week post-op appointment. Apparently, that news creates shock, but once they had some time to process what I had just said, they communicated their support. They probably would rather I not do something as drastic as elective surgery to remove a body part, but they support my decision for this worthy cause, and they will be here when I go into surgery and take care of me for the next couple of weeks.
I found out through a short grapevine that my 7 year old just matter-of-factly told a friend that his mom was going to die. I told him that God told me to do this, and I don't believe He would be asking for that kind of sacrifice. The statistics are one donor death in 30,000 transplants; however, it is always a possibility, and if for some reason I do die, I truly believe it was part of God's plan for me to die at that very time. Don't worry, I won't die, but if I do, know that it was my time, and you will be okay, and I will be with you.
I have let people know about this surgery only on an as needed basis. At first I wanted it to be a secret. I had hoped to get away with this surgery without anyone knowing. Then I realized that is not fair to my tiny friend (and hopeful recipient), and it was equally not fair to my parents. So, no more is it a secret, nor have I posted it on Facebook. I am surprisingly private. I have no problem telling anybody anything if they ask or I feel there is a need, but other than that I just see no reason to tell people. I am not doing this for an excuse to be taken care of or so that people like me more or anything like that, so why cause stress in anyone's life?
The day I mailed in my application, the rest of the day I felt heroic. I knew it would pass, and it did, but I allowed myself that moment. It wasn't my reason for donating, and it came as a surprise, but I figured it is one of the myriad of changing emotions I would experience, so I just let it happen without judgement on it. The next morning it was gone, but my feeling about my reason for surgery had altered. Now I was excited for my tiny friend, and I felt honored to be allowed to serve her in this way.
I had decided that if I was not a match for her, I would donate in behalf of her in a donor match, also known as a chain. If I was rejected for her because the panel didn't believe my motives were pure (or if they thought she was coercing me, which she wasn't) I knew God knows all and had a purpose for my doing this, so I would either wait and offer my kidney to her next summer after I hadn't worked with her for 6-8 months, and if that didn't work out I would offer live donation for the next person on the waiting list. I am committed to this!
After experiencing the panel's concerns for my health first, I have changed my drivers license status as organ donor at death.
The hardest thing for me to face was the Advance Directive, papers I need to fill out about who will be my voice and what my wishes are, should I become permanently damaged and kept alive by machines, unable to communicate and even unable to recognize my loved ones. I don't really want to look at the possibility in the face. If death occurred or a situation like this, that could possibly turn my family, possibly others, and maybe several generations against organ donation or worse, against God. Also, you can't predict all the possibilities of what could go wrong. Who could I trust to understand me enough to make the decision I would make? You would think my husband is first choice, then my mom is second. However, there are things I will not mention in this blog for my choice to choose someone who would lose less than a wife or daughter. I chose someone else, with both of their support in this decision. Someone who loves me to pieces, understands me probably better than anyone else besides my daughter (whom I would never make do this), but who could remove himself enough to pull off my wishes and, if needed, talk to his father and grandparents and make a balanced and smart decision. My oldest son, who is 25 years old.
With every test, I felt a stronger and stronger desire, almost a desperate desire, that I pass for my tiny friend's sake. I feared that the panel of surgeons and social workers wouldn't let me do this for her, because she was my boss, and they said they couldn't prove there was no coercion. I quit my job, because I was going to anyway after her surgery, which would hopefully now be mine as well. Toward the very end of all the tests, I emotionally HAD to pass them for her. I wouldn't know how to tell her, if I didn't pass a test.
I passed them all!!! The panel decided my reasons for donation are altruistic, my kidneys are normally shaped, and I have no cancer, heart issues, or infectious diseases! I was giddy when I got the news!!! I squeeled and jumped up and down like a tween girl!!! I happy danced!!! I was hyper all day!!! I was so happy and relieved for her!
I wanted to tell her in a couple of days which was her birthday, but how could I keep that info away? So I texted her when I found out, at about 7 am. Later that day I went in to my former work to buy something. Turns out that WAS her birthday!!!! I am so happy that I did not wait!!!
Now that I am looking at surgery in 2 weeks, there's a small part of me somewhere inside that is becoming a bit nervous. It seemed to start after I read about 3 donors whose health were affected for the worse for the rest of their life, but I find comfort in knowing that even they don't regret donation and would do it over again.
I knew I would need help for the first two weeks of recovery. I called my mom and dad, who live in another state, and told them I was calling to see if they would be able to help me, as I am choosing to have surgery to donate a kidney to my friend and need someone to take care of me from the time I am released from the hospital until my 2 week post-op appointment. Apparently, that news creates shock, but once they had some time to process what I had just said, they communicated their support. They probably would rather I not do something as drastic as elective surgery to remove a body part, but they support my decision for this worthy cause, and they will be here when I go into surgery and take care of me for the next couple of weeks.
I found out through a short grapevine that my 7 year old just matter-of-factly told a friend that his mom was going to die. I told him that God told me to do this, and I don't believe He would be asking for that kind of sacrifice. The statistics are one donor death in 30,000 transplants; however, it is always a possibility, and if for some reason I do die, I truly believe it was part of God's plan for me to die at that very time. Don't worry, I won't die, but if I do, know that it was my time, and you will be okay, and I will be with you.
I have let people know about this surgery only on an as needed basis. At first I wanted it to be a secret. I had hoped to get away with this surgery without anyone knowing. Then I realized that is not fair to my tiny friend (and hopeful recipient), and it was equally not fair to my parents. So, no more is it a secret, nor have I posted it on Facebook. I am surprisingly private. I have no problem telling anybody anything if they ask or I feel there is a need, but other than that I just see no reason to tell people. I am not doing this for an excuse to be taken care of or so that people like me more or anything like that, so why cause stress in anyone's life?
The day I mailed in my application, the rest of the day I felt heroic. I knew it would pass, and it did, but I allowed myself that moment. It wasn't my reason for donating, and it came as a surprise, but I figured it is one of the myriad of changing emotions I would experience, so I just let it happen without judgement on it. The next morning it was gone, but my feeling about my reason for surgery had altered. Now I was excited for my tiny friend, and I felt honored to be allowed to serve her in this way.
I had decided that if I was not a match for her, I would donate in behalf of her in a donor match, also known as a chain. If I was rejected for her because the panel didn't believe my motives were pure (or if they thought she was coercing me, which she wasn't) I knew God knows all and had a purpose for my doing this, so I would either wait and offer my kidney to her next summer after I hadn't worked with her for 6-8 months, and if that didn't work out I would offer live donation for the next person on the waiting list. I am committed to this!
After experiencing the panel's concerns for my health first, I have changed my drivers license status as organ donor at death.
The hardest thing for me to face was the Advance Directive, papers I need to fill out about who will be my voice and what my wishes are, should I become permanently damaged and kept alive by machines, unable to communicate and even unable to recognize my loved ones. I don't really want to look at the possibility in the face. If death occurred or a situation like this, that could possibly turn my family, possibly others, and maybe several generations against organ donation or worse, against God. Also, you can't predict all the possibilities of what could go wrong. Who could I trust to understand me enough to make the decision I would make? You would think my husband is first choice, then my mom is second. However, there are things I will not mention in this blog for my choice to choose someone who would lose less than a wife or daughter. I chose someone else, with both of their support in this decision. Someone who loves me to pieces, understands me probably better than anyone else besides my daughter (whom I would never make do this), but who could remove himself enough to pull off my wishes and, if needed, talk to his father and grandparents and make a balanced and smart decision. My oldest son, who is 25 years old.
With every test, I felt a stronger and stronger desire, almost a desperate desire, that I pass for my tiny friend's sake. I feared that the panel of surgeons and social workers wouldn't let me do this for her, because she was my boss, and they said they couldn't prove there was no coercion. I quit my job, because I was going to anyway after her surgery, which would hopefully now be mine as well. Toward the very end of all the tests, I emotionally HAD to pass them for her. I wouldn't know how to tell her, if I didn't pass a test.
I passed them all!!! The panel decided my reasons for donation are altruistic, my kidneys are normally shaped, and I have no cancer, heart issues, or infectious diseases! I was giddy when I got the news!!! I squeeled and jumped up and down like a tween girl!!! I happy danced!!! I was hyper all day!!! I was so happy and relieved for her!
I wanted to tell her in a couple of days which was her birthday, but how could I keep that info away? So I texted her when I found out, at about 7 am. Later that day I went in to my former work to buy something. Turns out that WAS her birthday!!!! I am so happy that I did not wait!!!
Now that I am looking at surgery in 2 weeks, there's a small part of me somewhere inside that is becoming a bit nervous. It seemed to start after I read about 3 donors whose health were affected for the worse for the rest of their life, but I find comfort in knowing that even they don't regret donation and would do it over again.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Paired Exchange Program
If you are considering, or desiring, donating your kidney to a friend who is incompatible, the paired exchange program is worth looking into. It's an ingenious miracle program!
I was told that once all the tests were completed, we could set an operation date, often within just a couple of weeks. I was really hoping that meant we'd be able to be scheduled for after Christmas and before New Years Eve, just because I was excited for my tiny recipient to start feeling better. When I asked, they said that normally it might be that soon, but 1) that's when a lot of people want to schedule surgeries, because they're taking the time off work anyway, and 2) there was a six-kidney-exchange happening then, which was very exciting! You only need one compatible pair, if one is found truly compatible both ways, but they will link however many is needed to complete the circle so that everybody wins.
A kidney exchange happens when a recipient has a willing donor, but the donor's kidney is not compatible with their chosen recipient, usually because of an incompatible blood type. For instance Type O blood can donate to every other blood type, but they can only receive Type O blood. Type AB can receive from any blood type, but can only give to Type AB. The coordinators find one or more of these type of recipient/donor pairs until they have the perfect linkage (like a chain circle).
This group had been waiting for the missing link for several months, and that link showed up, so they scheduled them in right away. That doesn't mean that all the recipients and donors were in the same hospital at the same time, but it does mean that the doctors had to be coordinated in order for kidneys to be transported in the right order. I think they did have a full 2 pairs (that's 3 kidneys and 4 people in surgery, scheduled for our hospital that day.
More information about Paired Exchange Programs can be found at http://www.matchingdonors.com/life/index.cfm?page=p030
I was told that once all the tests were completed, we could set an operation date, often within just a couple of weeks. I was really hoping that meant we'd be able to be scheduled for after Christmas and before New Years Eve, just because I was excited for my tiny recipient to start feeling better. When I asked, they said that normally it might be that soon, but 1) that's when a lot of people want to schedule surgeries, because they're taking the time off work anyway, and 2) there was a six-kidney-exchange happening then, which was very exciting! You only need one compatible pair, if one is found truly compatible both ways, but they will link however many is needed to complete the circle so that everybody wins.
A kidney exchange happens when a recipient has a willing donor, but the donor's kidney is not compatible with their chosen recipient, usually because of an incompatible blood type. For instance Type O blood can donate to every other blood type, but they can only receive Type O blood. Type AB can receive from any blood type, but can only give to Type AB. The coordinators find one or more of these type of recipient/donor pairs until they have the perfect linkage (like a chain circle).
This group had been waiting for the missing link for several months, and that link showed up, so they scheduled them in right away. That doesn't mean that all the recipients and donors were in the same hospital at the same time, but it does mean that the doctors had to be coordinated in order for kidneys to be transported in the right order. I think they did have a full 2 pairs (that's 3 kidneys and 4 people in surgery, scheduled for our hospital that day.
More information about Paired Exchange Programs can be found at http://www.matchingdonors.com/life/index.cfm?page=p030
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