For me, donating my kidney did not feel like a sacrifice from me. I acknowledge the sacrifices of many friends and family that it took to pull this off, but so far I feel that I have gained more than I lost.
First thing everyone wants to know is if I lost weight as a result. I am pretty sure the kidney only weighs a half pound. Considering how our weight fluctuates a couple pounds one way or another, depending on all sorts of factors each day, I do not consider losing a kidney to be the reason for my weight loss. Yes, I have lost weight, and I do believe it is because of this experience, but not because I am missing the weight of a body part.
In December I found out the only test I did not pass with flying colors was my cholesterol test. I actually laughed out loud when the doctor told me that I had borderline high cholesterol. My whole life I have stayed away as much as I could from fried foods, high fat content meat, and even milk, simply because I have never liked it. I must admit, however, that my husband makes some pretty amazing fried potatoes/hash browns. I also have always loved peanut butter with and in many things. I did research and, although I do not agree with the medical reasoning for cholesterol coming from outside sources, I decided to use it as an excuse (to others and to myself) for changing my diet by cutting out foods I already knew were not in my best interest: Fried potatoes, peanut butter, cream cheese, deli meats, packaged/processed foods, and donuts. Three months later, at my month post-op check up, I found out that I had not lost any weight. That was kinda disappointing, but I was okay with what I looked like, wearing a 10 at 5'7"..
Two months after that weigh-in, my adult son (who hadn't seen me since the operation) commented that I looked like I'd lost some weight. I thanked him, but assured him I hadn't. The following week a friend of mine made the same comment. I don't have a scale to weight myself, because I find that I get kind of obsessed by it, so I couldn't confirm either way. The following week I had an occasion that I needed to buy some professional pants. I have dropped two pants sizes! I now fit easily into a size 6! Yay, me!
I think there is more, however, that contributed to my weight loss than eating healthier, although eating healthier is no doubt a huge factor. One factor is that my car was totaled and, rather than buy a new car, I have been walking my child to school and back and forth to the grocery store (almost every day, since I can only carry a few bags for a half mile). Also, my taste buds have changed. I can taste the preservatives in all the food that I should not be eating, and I can only eat a few bites of anything before my stomach is completely done with that particular food in that sitting.
I think another factor is that I have a different sense of self. Whether I lost weight or not, this new sense of self is so incredibly worth the price of a kidney! Please remember, I did not donate my kidney so that I could feel like a good person or for kudos or more love or attention. I had hoped I could somehow do it in secret and not let anybody know ... take the secret to my grave. At first, I would have even loved if my receiver-friend had not known. As it turned out, I'm glad that my wish wasn't granted.
Somehow, I have more self-appreciation. I have appreciation for my body, my looks, my personality, and my worth in general. As a result, I love even more deeply, am happier, and find it even easier to give of myself to others. I feel like a people-magnet. I can feel people's love and appreciation for me more freely, and I realize that the only thing that has changed was my ability to let it in. I believe that my new sense of self has created the space for physical change.
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